Don’t Outsource Your Happiness …

The weather is brutal, your car won’t start and it seems like everything is working against you. There’s no way you could be happy today, is there?

We've been conditioned to believe that 90% of our happiness is based on what happens to us and 10% based on how we react to it. It’s a lie!

The reality is that 90% of our happiness is based on what we make of it and 10% based on what happens to us …

We have a happiness baseline, a set point. You can think of it like an anchor on a boat. You might drift a little bit to the right and be more happy or you might drift a little bit to the left and be less happy, but you average out to a baseline and it’s based on the people who raised you and who you grew up with. Maybe your mom was normally a Miserable Mary and was always looking for the negative. Maybe she was a 2 out of 10 on the happiness scale and dad was an eternal optimist and was typically 8 out of 10. Average them together and your baseline is a 5 out of 10.

Before you get too depressed, that makes up only 50% of your happiness level – 40% of your happiness is based on the intentional activities that you choose to do each day. That’s why your morning and evening routine are so vital to your success and happiness. Your brain is like the general and the body is like the troops. If the general is listening to the dread and drama of the news first thing in the morning and last thing at night, then the general will be processing fear-based messages all day and night. Fear triggers the worst part of you. This is why filtering the information that goes into your brain is essential. You want to cultivate a mindset of happiness; then focus on what you are happy about. Do that in your last waking moments, and in your first waking moments, and you will be telling the general to look for the good and the happy in life. If your last waking moments are pouring over email and fuming about who is to blame, then your general will find the best folks to blame and focus you on everything that’s wrong with your life.

The last 10% of our happiness is based on what happens to us and it is our choice on how to respond to the good and the bad in our life. More often than not, what we would initially consider bad makes us stronger and forces us to change from our comfort zone. It requires us to grow and develop. It’s almost impossible to see in the moment, but it’s true 97% of the time.

Finding happiness isn’t difficult when you practice looking for it. Make the time to look for what is working in your life. 

Take a moment and ask – Who am I thankful for?

Remember, don’t outsource your happiness – it’s an inside job.